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“Grieving someone who's still alive, that's hard”

The experiences of non-offending partners of individuals who have sexually offended; an IPA study.
You are not alone! This document might go some way to recognising those initial feelings after "the Knock". 
It is an academic journal piece so not a quick read.
Click the image below to access the document.

“We’re not allowed to have experienced trauma. We’re not allowed to go through the grieving process” -

Exploring the indirect harms associated with Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) offending and its impacts on non-offending family members.

This is paper with research interviews of 20 families going through a similar experience to you. 
You are not alone - click the image to access the document. 

“Someone Who Has Been in My Shoes”:

The Effectiveness of a Peer Support Model for
Providing Support to Partners, Family and Friends
of Child Sexual Abuse Material Offenders. 

If you don't already attend our peer support group this resource will show you the benefits. 

Three Emotion Systems 

This short video explains a little about what goes on in our brain in response to stimuli and threats.

Caveman mind

This short video explains how our human brain has evolved and how we respond in certain ways.  It is often now our fault, but it is our responsibility what we do about it!

The Struggle Switch by Russ Harris

This short video explains what happens when anxiety (or other emotions) show up and how we can navigate this.

Books & Websites

  • The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris - this is a really easy read and is now available on audible.

  • The Reality Slap by Russ Harris

  • The Compassionate Mind- a good read to explain compassion in more detail.

  • Paula Hall books - this author has a number of books you might find useful.  CLICK HERE 

  • The Knock - A website set up by peers - featuring blogs, links, papers and more. CLICK HERE

Mindfulness Apps: Help access our soothe response system:

Word of advice, start small with the apps.  Don't try and go straight into committing to 20 minutes each day as it will be hard. Work on the 3 minute breathing exercises. If your brain wanders, it’s okay as that is what it is designed to do. Some days may be easier to settle the brain thoughts easier than others, just try a different time of day or try again another day.

  • The Self Compassion App 

  • Headspace

  • CALM 

  • Ten percent happier

  • Medito (free). 

  • There are also lots of useful things on Youtube if you google guided mindfulness practice, lots will come up. 

  • If you have a Fitbit or Apple Watch there are soothing breathing exercises on there.Just 2-3 minutes is enough to help.  

With thanks to The Compassionate Mind Foundation and Association for Contextual Science. 

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